Remember O Most Gracious

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is week. In order to properly battle against the sin of lust, we must have strong safeguards set up, for we can never tell whether we will be able to resist the temptations which we expose ourselves to. And those temptations are endless in today's culture. Self-distrust simply means being vigilant and having clear safeguards for ourselves, not trusting that we will simply "be stronger" in the future in the face of temptation. This step is absolutely critical. Jesus says, "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." Our Lord expects us to take severe measures in the face of sin.

Smartphones: Walking around with an unrestricted smartphone can be likened to a person trying to battle against over-indulgence in alcohol, yet always carrying around a flask of whiskey. We are setting ourself up for failure! Of course, the best thing to do would be to simply get rid of our smartphones (and this may be an option for some people!) But most need their phones nowadays for e-mail, GPS, etc. Here are the best practices according to which device you have. 

iPhones/iPads: Restricting content via "Screen Time." Apple makes it easy to control what one can do on an iPhone. Here is how to lockdown an Apple device:

1. Delete all apps that are completely unnecessary.

   • All TV/Movie Streaming Apps: Netflix, HBOMax, AmazonPrime, Hulu, AppleTV, Peacock, even DisneyPlus. These streaming services are full of content that is inappropriate, and simply does not help us be vigilant against temptation. 

   • Video/picture sharing apps: YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, etc. Again, full of unnecessary content. 

   • Social Media Apps- Can be full of inappropriate content!

   • Internet browser apps. There are two options here:

     • •  Delete these apps. This is the surest way to set up clear boundaries. Note: Safari cannot be deleted, but it can easily be "blocked." Under Restrictions, select "Content & Privacy Restrictions." Go to "Allowed Apps & Features," and disable "Safari." Then go back.

       • If having an internet browser is a must, then make sure in the category "App Store, Media, Web, & Games" the WEB CONTENT section is set to "Limit Adult Websites."

2. Open the Settings App and navigate to "Screen Time."

3. Select "iTunes & App Store Purchases."

4. Select "Don't Allow" for Installing Apps. 

5. Under "Require Password," select "Always Require."

6. Finally, navigate back to the main Screen Time menu, and select, "Lock Screen Time Settings."

   • This is the hard part. Best case scenario, you have a friend, a relative, etc. that you can have set your passcode for you. This can be awkward. I recommend going about it as trying to eliminate time-wasting. You don't have to say to the person, "Hey, I'm trying to remove access to porn on my phone." Here are some ways to go about it:

     • • Asking a parent: "Hey Mom/Dad, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?" They'll be more than happy to help.

       • Asking a friend: "Hey Friend, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?"

       • Asking anyone else trustworthy in our life: "Hey trustworthy person, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?"

And that's it! Your phone is locked down. 

If there is no one you feel comfortable giving your code to, another option is to make up a difficult to remember code, write it down on a piece of paper, and store that piece of paper in an inconvenient place. This at least keeps you one step removed from reverting the settings. 

What if I need to download an app? For instance a prayer app, or a travel app, or some other appropriate app? Simply in the presence of your accountability partner go to Screen Time and "Content & Privacy Restrictions," "iTunes & App Store Purchases," select Allow for installing Apps, and ask for them to type in the code. Then download the App, and then go back and select "Don't Allow" for installing Apps, and have them type in the code again. Do not simply ask them to give you the code!

Android Devices: Download the "AppBlock" app. Note: This app is a paid app. It costs $29.99 per year. A small price to make serious strides in holy purity. 

1. Delete all apps that are completely unnecessary.

6. • All TV/Movie Streaming Apps: Netflix, HBOMax, AmazonPrime, Hulu, AppleTV, Peacock, even DisneyPlus. These streaming services are full of content that is inappropriate, and simply does not help us be vigilant against temptation. 

   • Video/picture sharing apps: YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, etc. Again, full of unnecessary content. 

   • Social Media Apps- Can be full of inappropriate content!

   • Internet browser apps. For those that need a browser, AppLock will still block all inappropiate content. 

2. In the AppBlock, select "New Schedule." Set schedule to all day, every day. 

3. In extra options, select Adult Content Blocking. 

4. Select "Strict Mode" at the bottom. 

   1. Disable app uninstalling. 

   2. Disable installation of new apps. 

   3. Set your access mechanism.

      1. Approval: This method requires you to provide an e-mail for someone you trust. They are the only ones who can unlock strict mode.

      2. Pin: This requires you to put in a pin to turn off strict mode. 

         • Best case scenario, you have a friend, a relative, etc. that you can have set your passcode for you. This can be awkward. I recommend going about it as trying to eliminate time-wasting. You don't have to say to the person, "Hey, I'm trying to remove access to porn on my phone." Here are some ways to go about it:

           1. • Asking a parent: "Hey Mom/Dad, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?" They'll be more than happy to help.

              • Asking a friend: "Hey Friend, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?"

              • Asking anyone else trustworthy in our life: "Hey trustworthy person, I'm spending too much time on my phone, can you set a passcode for me so that I can't download time-wasting apps like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, etc.?"

      3.  Time: you can set strict mode to run for a certain amount of time. You will not be able to edit blocking settings for the fixed amount of time, including downloading new apps. 

And that's it! Your phone is locked down. 

Laptop/desktop computers: There are many ways to prevent access to inappropriate content. This is for you to decide. If this is too difficult, I recommend only allowing access to laptops/desktops in public areas of the house. Or get rid of the device. Or, if possible, only have a work-issued device which if used inappropriately could result in consequences with the company. 

Movies/TV in General: One of the most important ways to remain strong in the battle for purity is to only consume life-giving, appropriate, beautiful, awe-inspiring content. Before watching any movie or TV series, you should ALWAYS check its content no-matter what its rating.  This is best done on the "Parents Guide" section for a movie on the imdb.com website. (Being discerning in what we watch is not just a task of parents for their Children! We are all called to holiness!) For example, the R-Rated movie "There Will Be Blood" contains plenty of content not suitable for children. But it's helpful to know that as far as Sex & Nudity are concerned, it's quite clean. 

Recommended activities instead of Movies/TV/Social Media: Reading, learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, learning a new game, playing more of a fun sport, spending more time with family and friends, visiting museums. 

It should go without saying that having a prayer life is extremely helpful and beneficial as we strive to live out Holy Purity. Prayer establishes and multiplies our daily contacts with the Spiritual World and brings us the help we need. Our will, weakened by sin, is helpless in the spiritual order; it must share in God's strength to make up for its natural weakness; this it can do through prayer. Prayer is the channel through which God's grace, and therefore God's power, flows into our souls, enabling each one of us to say with St. Paul, "When I am weak, then I am strong." In our frequent and intimate contacts with God, we can find and enjoy a true and holy satisfaction, in which even our higher senses can share. Piety and the love of sensual pleasure cannot exist together in the soul. Prayer draws the soul closer to God and helps weaken our temptations and our resolve to resist them. 

It is up to each person to decide how to incorporate prayer into their life. Some suggestions:

• Spending at least 15 minutes in silent meditation, "when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

• Rosary

• Spiritual Reading

• Reading of the Sacred Scriptures, especially the New Testament

• Chaplet of Divine Mercy

• Morning Offering

• Daily Examination of Conscience

• The Liturgy of the Hours

• The Memorare

Finally, in addition to self-distrust and prayer, one of the tools that has been greatly overlooked, yet is crucial in our spiritual struggle against the pleasures of the flesh, is mortification. This word simply means "putting to death," a strong way of saying, "not giving in to every impulse of our body, and in small ways denying ourselves simple pleasures. All the saints in heaven did not get there without an understanding of the Christian's intimate call to mortification.

• Mortification of the sight: Believe it or not, all the above discussion of blocking content from ourselves is mortification. It is not fun. It hurts a little. We are blocking ourselves off from a sort of pleasure that we want. And yet it is crucial to not simply view anything that gives our eyes pleasure. Our eyes are the windows into our soul, and we are called to restrain the desire to look upon those things which are contrary to our growth in holiness. 

• Mortification of our memory and imagination: we can sometimes dwell on the past in an unhealthy way. This can bring us pleasure. We are called to make an effort not to overly dwell on the sins of our past. Of course, what comes to our minds is not completely in our control. We are not supposed to control what comes to our minds, but what we do when it does. We can sit there and dwell on it, or we can decide, "Hey, I'm going to do something to get my mind off this topic. I'm going to exercise, do some spiritual reading, pray the rosary, etc."

• Mortification of the body: If we are over-indulgent in the things of the body, our battle for purity is impossible. The triumphant crown of Holy Purity comes with struggle against lack of moderation in all areas. If we eat too much, drink too much, do everything in our power to maximize our comfort in this world, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We must go on the offensive, we must remind our bodies that it is our immortal soul that is in charge! Some suggestions:

  • • In addition to not overeating/drinking, choosing 1 day each weak to limit ourselves to 1 meal, offering this fasting for our growth in chastity and for all those others who are struggling. 

    • Sleeping on the floor: Many people struggle with impurity when going to bed at night. When our mind is wandering and our temptation seems unbeatable, simply grabbing our blanket and pillow and getting out of our comfy bed and onto the floor can have remarkable results. Our flesh, instead of demanding that we give into the temptation to impurity, has now become preoccupied with why we are no longer laying in a comfy bed and instead laying purposely on a not-so-comfortable floor. Some people lay on the floor until they fall asleep, or at least until the temptation subsides. 

    • Taking a cold/lukewarm shower once in a while, denying ourselves the great pleasure that comes from a steaming-hot shower. 

    • Avoiding dessert on certain days, not putting sugar in our coffee, not putting salt on our food at some meals. Small but effective ways at building up our muscles of self-control, which are critical in living pure lives.